I saw a meme the other day that was basically “The zombie apocalypse is happening, and your team are the protagonists of the last three things you read/watched.”

And I had to stop and think about it.

1. Ross Poldark, Poldark. Pros: fought in the Revolutionary War (albeit on the wrong side), quick on his feet, smart. Cons: If Aidan Turner smolders at me or, gods forbid, takes off his shirt like he just did, I’m going to stumble and become zombie fodder. Then again, if we survive, I’d be happy to try and repopulate the earth with him. (We would fail, but we could try. A lot. Repeatedly.)

2. Barry Allen/The Flash, The Flash. He’d be a tremendous asset as long as he listened to me and not his idiot team with their cockamamey plans. Just grab some steel cable and wrap around the zombie very quickly. Better yet, just quickly grab the zombie and transport it far away. Better still, just pick me up and quickly transport me away from the zombies. The end. Jesus, why is that so hard?

3. Johnny Rock, Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll. Uh oh. I told Ken about this meme, and he said “We can throw him at the zombies.” Because yeah, Johnny’s pretty much only good for slowing the zombies down. If they ingest drug-addled brains, do they become drug-addled? Even better.

The best part of this exercise was to step back and think, damn, I watched a historical drama, a SF/superhero, and a sitcom about a washed-up rock-and-roll singer, all in one night. I am so weird.

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